You’re Baby Doesn’t Know It’s Been Born

“Your baby being outside your body, doesn’t mean that your body is not still its home.” - Nicole Longmire

Am I the only person that was not aware of this?? Babies do not know that they have been born. They still need to be cocooned and nurtured (along with mama) for at least one month after birth and ideally, the next six months to a year after birth. The mama’s body still meets all of baby’s needs after s/he is outside the body. And, this is essential! We can think of babies as needing exactly what a baby kangaroo needs - to be inside a pouch! Similar to what they needed inside the womb - Warmth, Movement, Constant Nourishment and Closeness - once born, babies still need these and these needs can still be met by Mama’s body.

Isn’t that interesting? If the mama’s body is still the baby’s home, what does that mean for new mamas and papas? It means that for at least one month after the baby is born, the mama does NOTHING outside of being with baby. In fact, she herself needs to be nurtured. I feel like writing all of this in all caps because I feel like shouting to the world - MOTHERS NEED TO BE NURTURED! We are literally, like, the silent keepers of humanity. We give so much of ourselves and do not know how to ask for the support that we need.

Nicole Longmire, of Mother Nurture, and I share a conversation about how couples (and families, friends, the community) can prepare for the task of meeting a new baby. Nicole shares, “Our child will need co-regulation from us for a good portion of their lives in different ways. We can begin this journey by realizing that giving birth is not the end game - it’s just the beginning.”

One thing I wish I had been told when I gave birth is Nicole’s 5-5-5 rule: 5 days in the bed, 5 days on the bed and 5 days near the bed. Sounds like heaven to get that time to really connect with your little.